Dread Pirate Kim

A renegade who preyed upon the merchant traffic on the the Great River, she now struggles to keep afloat.


Kim’s title suggests that she has taken levels in the Dread Pirate prestige class. Then again, that prestige class rather sucks, so maybe she hasn’t. Then again, she is a non-combatant NPC, so maybe she has.


A.K.A. Dread Pirate Kate (because I kept forgetting her name)

Dread Pirate Kim had carried on a successful career in piracy on the Great River. No merchant ship plying the waters of the Great River was safe, neither the broad barges coming from Guia in the north, nor the ironclad steamers chugging up from Drogue in the south. Relying on speed and surprise, Kim and her crew could ambush and overwhelm most ships before the hapless merchant sailors or their mercenary guards realized what was happening. Both the Empire of the Deathless Sun and the Dwarven nation were offering a bounty of multiple thousands of gold pieces for her capture, but Kim’s ability to conceal her operations behind legitimate businesses and conceal herself behind a number of alibis kept her alive and operational.

All that changed with Nightfall, of course. With the end of merchant shipping came the end of piracy on the high seas…and the end of piracy on the low river, as well. Kim found refuge in the ailing city of Karibe, iwht then intention of striking out for the still-standing Dwarven stronghold of Drogue in the south until the last of her crew either deserted or were kidnapped by ninjas (owing to a long-standing feud between Karibe’s ninja and pirate communities). So Kim drank her days away in the Sultan’s Sigh, fondly reminiscing on more adventurous times.

That is, until the heroes got into town. Kim told them that her mechanic had been kidnapped by ninjas, and asked of them whether or not they were bad enough dudes to rescue the mechanic. It turned out that they were, and after overcoming a prismatic ray trap that killed two party members and a subsequent fight against a ninja and his shadow allies that killed zero party members, the heroes liberated Penelope the Mechanic from her imprisonment. In doing so, they provided for their own path to Drogue, as Penelope (with Giuseppe’s assistance) was able to repair the failing engine in the party’s own boat, and soon enough they were all bound upriver towards the Dwarven and Gnomish capital. The appearance of a Dwarven border guard and law enforcement official onboard the boat compelled Kim to jump ship (with Rhyken’s assistance) before the boat fully reached the city, but Kim was nothing if not resourceful, so she probably manged to infiltrate the city and get herself set up there in some manner or another.

It’s doubtful that Kim will find much opportunity for piracy in the current economic climate, so it’s anybody’s guess as to whether or not she remained landlocked in Guia or set out for other climes in search of a place to ply her trade. It would be comforting to think of Kim still out there somewhere, making her gruff jokes and outsized boasts and harsh observations, and making merchants and mercenaries work for their money.

Kim’s feminine wiles, such as they were, had to compete with her several missing teeth and her dirty hair and a voice that reflected the fact that she swilled whiskey from morning until night. She had a penchant for black clothing, especially black leather vests and leather trousers.

Kim had an intense disliking for those of the ninja persuasion.

Dread Pirate Kim

Uldrus: Ice and Darkness AnimaUmbrae